Thursday, November 18, 2010

Dear Adulthood...You Suck

Dear Adulthood,

I'm sorry to have to say this (actually I'm not really) but I don't like you very much today.

I know we've had a rocky relationship over the past decade. While things have been a lot better in the last few years, and I was even starting to love you a little, today I just have to say it: Adulthood, you suck!

I resent the fact that you are always hovering over me. Every time I turn around, you're nagging at me that there's something responsible that I should be doing. Can't I get some space here? You always put your needs first, and I am the afterthought. Its always bills, work, laundry, errands. What about my needs? When do we get to drop everything on a Monday, play hooky from school, and gorge on ice-cream while watching cartoons? Why is it that we need to go to the store for toilet paper and cat food when I have a very real and very pressing need to go to the mall for a new pair of shoes? It's not fair. You're mean, and no fun.

Today, you made me do stuff all day long I didn't want to do. Did you ask me before you decided I would walk the dog, do the laundry, clean the bedroom, do schoolwork, do work-work, make dinner? No. Do you think I wanted to apply for that job you spent an hour working on an email response for? No again. You've been making me work for quite a while, and I have to say, I'd really rather just go back to the time when food just magically appeared in the cabinets and utilities were something in Monopoly.

You never listen to me. I can cry, whine, and scream waaahhhh as loud as I can and you just want to talk about your feelings. You make me eat vegetables. And exercise, which in case you didn't know, I really hate doing.

I also hate your stupid family. Your sister talks all day long about nothing, and your nephew is an obnoxious brat. I don't see why we have to do family stuff all the time like eat dinner together. I just wanna play with my friends. Plus, didn't anyone ever tell you we're supposed to get paid for babysitting? It's not supposed to be free, DUH. Your family is stupid. You are stupid. I would be a much happier person if we just cut this off and you got out of my life. Then I could finally do whatever I want, whenever I want, ALL THE TIME.

Maybe I'll like you again tomorrow. I usually do. See, I don't bother trying to be all "consistent" and "rational" like you. So we'll see. But for today, I don't like you. I will not be your facebook friend. If you had a dislike button, I would push it. So go screw yourself, cause I'm gonna go eat chocolate cake.


Anaya's Inner Child


  1. Girl, you rock! I've got some years on ya but still feel at times as you wrote...while you're eating your cake, I'm gonna have a chocolate chip, TWO!

  2. I love it. That pic is absolutely fabulous! I think we all have a few of these days. Peter Pan syndromers unite!

  3. This was great. The pic at the end, gee don't we all feel like that at times. It's a long time since I was pre-adulthood but I really appreciate you taking me back there.

  4. I didn't know you did this, it is wild. Is thst really apic of you when you were a baby