Lately I've been forgetting to breathe. It starts with a tight feeling in my stomach, muscles clenched, and a whirring in my brain. I force a breathe in and realize, wow, its been a little while. Never mind that a little while is only a few seconds or so.
It's rather irritating, this thing called breathing. Especially when you forget. I'm mostly in a bit of a panic because of a self-created pickle of potentially catastrophic implications. If being broke can be considered that.
When I found myself facing the prospect of both finding a job and starting grad school this fall, I took what I thought would be the best course of action. I decided to become a freelance writer, and effectively eliminate any real need to go to work or generally do anything if I didn't want to. In the process, I turned down a job for an adjunct assistant in the online writing center of a certain college. Though the work conditions would have been ideal, working with developing writers, my favorite, plus no need to change out of my pj's, I was worried that the demands would compete with grad school.
So I wound up doing the freelancer thing, which has paid out a bit, so far. I was actually doing okay, though mostly from one site that I worked for. Then....voila, work for that site dried up, and now I'm pretty much making peanuts.
The moral of the story is, don't put all your eggs in one basket. And remember to breathe. Am I going to continue freelance writing? Yes. Will I work smarter this go round? I'd like to think so, but likely not. I'm sure I'll always be guilty of chucking all those eggs in one place, its kind of been my modus operendi in life. The basket of love, grad schools, freelance work, whathaveyou. I will watch out for those projects that could potentially run dry at some point, and have a backup plan!
Photo: Big Sur, CA - One of the most relaxing places I've ever been.